Resolute

For years I said I would start a blog.
Then I did.

Then I said I would post in it.
And I did...


And then I didn't.

Not because I didn't want to blog, but because I had/have a horrible self image.  I wanted to hide

As part of my life resolutions (I will go into why I don't believe in New Years resolutions at a later time) i am on a quest to better myself.   Part of that quest is chronicling my change from self loathing to self loving.

All this came about a little over a month ago while talking about clothing with my sister.  She was shopping my closet and I was eyeing her shirt.  Instead of asking her where she got her top or if I could try it on, the first words that came to mind were "what size is that shirt?"   Naturally, she was offended.  Then it happened again a week later with pants... and she got mad.  I had no idea that I was asking that.  NONE.

I caught myself checking the size on everything when shopping, asking my friends what size they were, and the worst of all, I knew what size EVERY article of clothing in my closet was.  Without looking.  I have become more dependent on a number than how I feel.  I have looked in the mirror and seen someone who is 10 times larger and not known how not to. 

So now all of that changes.  Slowly.

No more hiding.  No more negativity.  I will get there.  Because this little girl needs me to.

Work Appropriate?

I love fashion.  And in order to afford all the fashions I love, I have to work.  I work for the government agency so there is no dress code.  I love that I could wear jeans every day if I chose to.  It also means that some of my coworkers come to the office wearing some pretty amusing and confusing ensembles. I can't hold this in anymore. 



Leggings as Pants

This is my number one biggest pet peeve.  I too love to be as comfy as I can when I am at work, but leggings are not appropriate when worn in lieu of pants.  This doesn't mean you can't rock a non-sheer, sophisticated pair under a bum-covering tunic or even a dress.  What this means is that the $5 pair of thin leggings should not be worn with a blouse.
Not long ago I was walking behind a young 20-something woman and could not stop staring at her butt.  I wasn't checking her out, I was staring at her underwear.  She was wearing a pair of black leggings that were so stretched I could see right though them.  Had she worn anything that covered her bottom instead of a printed v-neck shirt, I would not have noticed. 

This isn't just a one time occurrence.  Every day some woman flashes past me wear leggings as pants.  They are not pants people, they are a thick pair of tights, treat them as such.

Tube tops

Is it sad that I have to include this?  I think it is.  The business workforce does not need to know what you wear clubbing.  There is not much more I can need to say about this.

Strapless Dresses

While not club wear, strapless dresses are more appropriate for the weekend barbeque.  I know I have said to myself that I could throw a sweater over a nicer looking tube dress.  HALT!  Put it down, put it back.  You will be pulling up the dress all day rendering the cardigan useless.  Leave it for the beach.

Flip Flops

I wear these every morning TO work.  Once I get to my desk I change into the shoes I brought that go with my outfit du jour.  If I am running to the farmer's market at lunch I might slip them on for the lunch break.  I do NOT go to meetings in them, I do NOT give presentations in them.  And unless you work for a surfboard company or similar, these summer essentials should stay hidden under your desk, away from the boardroom.  There are plenty of cute, office appropriate sandals.

Too-Tight Clothing

I realize everyone's weight goes up and down.  Mine does.  I have also seen it balloon to the point that every single thing I put on was skin tight, or worse.  Instead of living in the past, I held my head up high and marched to my nearest Old Navy and bought a few essentials I knew I could wear on a daily basis.  Sure, they were 2 sizes bigger than I wanted, but I was comfortable at work and I wasn't fussing all over my clothes. 

When clothes are too small they ride up, fall down, or somehow try to make their way off your body.  And what's worse, they make you actually look bigger.  Size up, no one will know.
 
Mini Skirts

They are cute.  And Ally McBeal made them popular.  But these too should stay in the closet.  During a recent meeting at work, a manager actually brought this topic up.  As it was put, if you have to pull your skirt down or continuously cross your legs, your skirt is too short.  I have a personal rule of no more than 3" above the knee.  This can be adjusted for leg length.  


Sweatpants and Gym Clothes (and PAJAMAS!?)

These are not called sweats or gym clothes for fun, that is what they were constructed for.  Let's get real.  And flannel pajamas are just that, pajamas.  Go to bed earlier, wake up earlier, and make a small effort.  It WILL pay off.


Bathing Suits

I really, Really should not have to write this.  Figure it out.  Unless you are a lifeguard, leave the suits to the pool. 


I wish I could say that these fashions were a rare occurrence, but they aren't.   Just when I think I have seen it all I see an exposed navel or a cut-off that makes my eyes roll.  If you wouldn't wear it to meet your boyfriend's (or girlfriend's) grandma, don't wear it to work.

How Easily I Forget

Did you ever have a day/week/month that just passed by in a flash?  I feel like that has been my life lately.  I am 5 months away from turning 29, which actually feels scarier than turning 30, and time is moving faster everyday.  My original resolution was to blog to be more me.  joke's on me, the real me forgets pretty much everything, including that she has a blog. 

I have been doing a fair amount of 'soul searching' lately.  The house I moved into has a lot of mirrors.  Not your standard dressing room mirror with impeccable back lighting and just the right paint color to give you the glowing from within look every woman wants.  No, sadly, these are from 1976 and flatten, widen, and squat every inch of my 5'10'' frame.  So, naturally, I have spent a good amount of time every day staring at every magnified imperfection I have in these floor length mirrors.  As you can imagine the hate cycle that blossomed from the relationship with my mirror spiraled out of control, until...

I came across this woman.  Alison has transformed how I view fashion, women, and most importantly myself.  I love viewing her daily outfits and remind myself every chance I get that I am seen, even when I would love nothing more than to hide. 

So lets try this all again, shall we?

30 Day Blog Challenge- Day 14

Someone you love.

2 weeks sure goes by quickly when you have no internet.  But I am finally moved!

I love lots of people.  Some more than others, Ryan Gosling I am talking to YOU!  So, I feel like this is an unfair post.  It's a 10 way tie at the top of my list though. 

So my top five are.... (in no particular order)

My mom.  Obviously.  She endured hours of labor (with no epi) and 28+ years of my antics.  Thsiw oman deserves a medal.

My little sister.  Again...putting up with my antics. FOR YEARS!

My daughter.  I still can't get over how much of a miracle she is. (Cliche much?)  Yesterday out of the blue she ran up to me and grabbed my face and just smiled.  I mean, hellllooooo?!?!?!  I melted.

My boyfriend.  I never believed it when movies, my parents, friends, Disney used the term happily ever after.  Then I met Jon.  It really does exist.  We compliment each other so well, it's amazing.

My older sister.  She is like my 2nd mom in a way.  She was my babysitter from day 1, and in my teen years a confidant. 

30 Day Blog Challenge- Day 13

Someone you miss the most.

My original thought was to say my Dad.  He passed away when I was in middle school.  Suddenly.  He was 46.  But I don't know if I miss him.  He isn't a part of my life now.  Yes he helped shape my formative years, and there are times I think about all the what-ifs, but he isn't 'missing.' 

My mom moved 5 hours away last spring.  My original thought was that I was overjoyed that she wouldn't turn up at my doorstep unexpectedly or guilt ask me to come over for dinner when I just wanted to stare at a blank wall.  Flash forward a year + later, and I just wish she would move back.  I miss being able to spend a few hours with her on a Saturday trying on clothes at Macy's, going to  movie, or gabbing.

I can still do all that, but one of us will have to drive a long way to do it.  bummer.

30 Dy Blog Challenge- Day 12

Describe your siblings.


I have 4 siblings. 3 of which I can say I know. And 2 of which I can say I know well. For their anonymity, I won’t go into too much detail.




I do have a lot of ‘soul sisters.’ A term I adopted for those close ladies in my life that aren’t related by blood.

30 Day Blog Challenge- Day 11

Your favorite date place.

Does my couch count?  I love chatting while having my feet rubbed.  Okay, I will get real for a minute. In my city there is nothing to do after 9 PM.  Pretty much any date I have been on involves shoveling food into your mouth and then sitting in a movie theater.  Or if you are really lucky, you not only eat dinner, but you drive to a separate dinning facility to eat dessert.  Not really the healthiest way to date, and all that sitting can make me antsy.

My favorite place to go is only appropriate in the warmer months.  I love to go mini golfing.  I get oddly competitive- no really, it's like I turn into Monica Gellar and I have to win.  The place I like is outdoors.  And they have bumper boats and go karts to boot.  In the winter it rains too much, so unless I am feeling particularly crazy, I won't go there.

Mostly the Mr. and I stay in and cuddle up next to each other on the couch.  And if I am really lucky, I get a foot rub ;-)