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Sunday, January 6, 2013


For years I said I would start a blog.
Then I did.

Then I said I would post in it.
And I did...

And then I didn't.

Not because I didn't want to blog, but because I had/have a horrible self image.  I wanted to hide

As part of my life resolutions (I will go into why I don't believe in New Years resolutions at a later time) i am on a quest to better myself.   Part of that quest is chronicling my change from self loathing to self loving.

All this came about a little over a month ago while talking about clothing with my sister.  She was shopping my closet and I was eyeing her shirt.  Instead of asking her where she got her top or if I could try it on, the first words that came to mind were "what size is that shirt?"   Naturally, she was offended.  Then it happened again a week later with pants... and she got mad.  I had no idea that I was asking that.  NONE.

I caught myself checking the size on everything when shopping, asking my friends what size they were, and the worst of all, I knew what size EVERY article of clothing in my closet was.  Without looking.  I have become more dependent on a number than how I feel.  I have looked in the mirror and seen someone who is 10 times larger and not known how not to. 

So now all of that changes.  Slowly.

No more hiding.  No more negativity.  I will get there.  Because this little girl needs me to.